I am taking a break from my studies

A friend of mine gave me her old tarot cards a few months ago and I have been them a few times a week to keep myslf in check... spritually anyway. I admit it I am a novice and I have to look up the meanings of the cards via the internet and then try to figure out what they mean to me. Things seemed to be going well...the cards seemed to mirror what I was doing and my goals to move...even some issues at work. Then yesterday drew the Tower card. By what I was reading on some tarot interpretation sites, my world was about to collapse...but I would come out a better person. Definitely not something I want to hear. I think I mentioned that I do have a mild (depending on who you ask) case of OCD. I can obsess about something for hours! I get stuck like a needle on a record player (remember those?)

I knew I needed some expert advice and we have only one place where I can get that type of help... The owner of Karma Boutique, Mary. I used to get my cards read every 6 months when I lived in SF but I have not had them read for about 13 years. I think everyone should spend some time throughout their lives with a counselor, especially when going through trying times. Friends are ok but they will neverbe truly honest with you because they do not want to hurt your feelings...a shrink will tell you what you need to hear even if you don't like it. For me I also need guidance from a medium, tarot reader,etc. I sometimes need the help of a reputable reader to keep me on track...spiritually speaking.

Mary straightened me out while she did a tarot spread for me. The tower did not come up and she did not detect terrible news, but I did need to be careful with this move and do a better job with my homework this time around. I do not want to move to a sketchy neighborhood and I don't want to rent a house that is in foreclosure only to find out that I have to move in 48 hours because the owner is trying to make some fast cash off me...I heard this has happened to a few people. Mary suggested that I strike a balance between my spirit and my human self... in other words meditate and do my homework.

While I am on the subject of meditation I have been doing that lately. Do you know how many forms there are? Lots! You can find alot of them on youtube. I do like the Zen meditation but it sure is hard...ok, it is impossible for me to clear my mind of thoughts. Try it for yourself...sit in a chair and close your eyes and breathe...listen to the sounds around you but do not think about it or analize it and for heavens sake do not start thinking about your grocery list! Just BE in the silence. Go ahead try it for 5 minutes, you will be shocked what your mind starts thinking.

I also like the meditation that contains chanting. There are some nice ones also on youtube. Alot of them have background music that is nice and makes it easier to focus on the meditation. I meditate because for me I remain calmer in stressful situations. I tend to laugh things off more instead of getting sucked into the drama and there is alot of drama at work! I know some of you will think I am a nut or ask why not pray? Well, my answer is that meditation is my prayer. I feel a connection with something higher than myself. Actually meditation can be done anywhere even walking the dogs...it is just being present and living in the moment...really looking at the trees... the birds...the smell of fresh cut grass... the feeling of cold air on my skin. We really take all these experinces for granted and don't notice things because we are busy with our lives. When is the last time you laid back in the grass and watched the clouds??? That is meditation. It is taking a break from this fast paced life we have.

Now after that sermon on meditation it is time to laugh outloud
xoxo Inge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wveC1QNTNCA

I am getting back on track

I have been distracted for the past 4 years. I have been busy with the day to day dolldrums and have neglected my spiritual self. I know I have written about this before but I had alot of time to think and meditate when I was sitting in the LA traffic. Maybe the reason John and I struggled so much in Chico is because we are living in the wrong place and not doing our what the Buddhists call "right work". I mean we were just working jobs in order to pay the bills and eek out a meager living. We were surviving not thriving. Neither of us were doing work we truly loved. John wants to work with animals, training dogs, walking them, care for them when their owners are on holiday. He especially likes caring for the difficult ones. He understands them... he too was considered difficult growing up.

I want to have my own metaphysical shoppe supplying others with the spiritiual tools to help them on their spiritual journey. I have wanted to do that for as long as I can remember. I cannot do that in Chico... spiritual matters are very black and white. Spirituality is considered part of the dark side, the devil and all that goes with that. Religion, namely Conservative Christian belief is ruler here... mixed with guns and fear of the unknown. There is no place for pagan, new age thinking here, at least not in the open.

It was so refreshing to go to Ojai where I was understood... where I could discuss such things with like minded people. I feel that I am getting back on track. I have found some great sites on the internet, namely youtube where I can watch videos and meditate to the chanting. I am coming home... of course this does not mean I have given up my enjoyment of laughter. After all, the secret to enlightenment is to lighten up!
xoxo Inge
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UGln73LzoM

When I was a massage therapist

I had more time to take care of myself... the stuff inside... the spiritual part of me... I meditated daily and even took the city bus to the Zen Center for zazen (sitting meditation). A group of us would sit either cross legged or in chairs (like me, my knees have always disliked sitting cross legged) and quietly meditate. No chanting just quiet. The purpose was to hear things in the environment inside and out and not judge... just listen. I was much calmer back then and I believe it was because of the time I took to reflect and enjoy the quiet with background sounds as they came and went. At the end we would recite as a group the Heart Sutra Chant. The I would ride the San Francsico city bus (with the menagerie of "colorful" riders) back to my 500 square foot apartment... much calmer and ready to take on anything that could come up.

I decided to start back up again but in Chico we do not have a zen center but thanks to the Great Goddess I have access to youtube! I also am keeping a random thought journal...where I write down my morning thoughts before I forget them. Well, actually I stated that today... which is where I am going with this post.... here goes...

"It's quiet... no t.v.- I think it will stay off today. No news to distract me... time for reflection... I have been reading my tarot (online) yes they have free tarot readings! here is the site I use
http://www.ifate.com/tarot_index.html Just remember to write the cards down and their meaning which you can find on another site http://www.discover-the-meaning-of-tarot.com/ I have a seperate journal for that. I do mine monthly and it is keeping me on track. Oh, I got off track... back to the journal reading - I woke up with this song playing in my head "Respect Yourself"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3r2WHjS7iM I think it is an interesting song for today.

I am a big fan of Rachel Ashwell. In the 90s I worked in a bookstore that had a copy of Shabby Chic ... I saved my pennies back then to buy a copy....I was hooked! here was a woman who had a philosophy similar to mine, only she legitimized the style. How sad I was to hear that she has been closing her stores... the economy. I found her blog and she reflects about how she feels about this turn of events and how she copes.... again inspiring even though it is bittersweet... after all we all experience the same ups and downs in life, it is just interesting to see her open up about her "stuff". I think Rachel Ashwell pioneered and changed the way we think about beauty and home decor - hence the name Shabby Chic - the ultimate recycling the old with the new. Words that describe her are trailblazer, inspirational, brave, free spirit, resourceful - she was unafraid to take a chance to try something new. www.rachelashwellshabbychic.blogspot.com/

She is alot like another woman I admire, Coco Chanel another trailblazer except with personal accessories... inventor of the "little black dress"... she helped poor women look and feel glamorous by wearing beautiful costume jewelry which is still aroung today. If it weren't for good costume jewelry I would not own anything, except my silver goodies, I never like diamonds and gold ( I know I need therapy!) but my hubby is grateful! I would rather spend my money on used goodies, handmade stuff, etc. OOPS! there I go again wandering off subject....
Rachels blogging and place in herjourney is reallly not that different than mine, she is just a famous figure and me, I am famous at home... my house... to my critters and hubby. But we are both reinventing ourselves, reflecting on our lives and about to start new beginnings (for me this at least the 4th time)... new home, new city, new environment, new careers. At times it is overwhelming - even scary! I will continue to look to these other women for inspiration, and advice... to follow their lead while leading myself and helping other women.

Actually, our country is also facing some challenges (to say the least) - so many people out of work (13.5% in Chico and the mall just declared bankruptcy!) The reality is many of these people out of work will not get their jobs back (because of outsourcing to cheaper countries) or at least they probably will get similar jobs at a lower rate of pay. Like it or not we have to change our way of thinking... to be creative, to create a new "American Dream" (can you hear the choir of angels yet) -sarcasm- Progress is taking us to a global world and it is not turning back, so we must be willing to reinvent ourselves and take risks. My marine biology professor told us 20 year ago during a field trip to the marine tidepools... we were looking at the grasses growing in the water bobbing back and forth with the waves "the secret to a successful life is to be flexible and hang on !" That's the only lesson I remember, but I think a very important one!

This can be my opportunity, our countries' opportunity to try new things, to reinvent ourselves, to come out better, wiser, and to see things with "fresh eyes"... to dare to be the trailblazers for a better world for future generations! Now get out there and play ball!"
xoxo Inge