Jan 31, 2010

It's day 2 of my 100 Day Reality Challenge. I got the ok to join the site... I can understand how they probably have to approve each member because it is an interractive site that could be controversial by some groups of people and if someone who had less than noble intentions made their way onto the site... well, I think you get my drift. So anyway, I am official, which means I am privy to all the tools I need to achieve my goals and dreams.
I was given some questions to think about which I wrote the answers to in a journal book. I won't go into what they were but I did decide to be open about the name of the place I worked because I think... no, I know the reason I did not mention the name before was because I was driven by fear... the fear that if someone from the company found out I was blogging about them I would lose my job.... So I decided to stop living in fear and the first step to walk the talk is to tell you where I worked. Marie Callender's Restaurant. There I said it. The experience I was sold on was definitely not the experience I... well, experienced. But I will not be angry about it but instead be grateful for the experience. I learned a great lesson even though the paycheck was bigger than I ever got, I did not like the environment. I found myself, especially in the last few weeks saying to myself how much I hated that job. I dreaded going there and felt trapped. This job in retrospect help me realize what I did not want as far as employment. I was stubborn though and continued to show up at a place that did nothing but aggravate me for 11 hours. I did not pay attention to my feelings and focused on the paycheck. It was my physical strength or rather lack of that caught up with me. My constant negative feelings helped to lower my immune system and my body finally crashed the last week I was supposed to work.
I am grateful to all the situations and people who I was angry with because if all this would not have happened I would still be there collecting a paycheck and not living my dream. I still do not have a clear idea what that looks like but at least I have the tools to figure that out. I want to practise trusting the universe to provide the guidance I need and know that I will be taken care of. It has happened in the past... I just forgot.

Back in 1999 I decided to check out a massage therapy class located a couple of blocks from my house. I had been interested in learning massage therapy and saw it as a career possibility. I went to a free class and within minutes, I knew it was for me. Nine months later I graduated but I didn't know where I wanted to work. I lived 10 minutes from Fisherman's Wharf so I decided to take the massage chair I had recently purchased down there to see if I could make some money offerering free 10 minute massages - working basically for tips. In San Francisco it is alright to perform in certain areas in the city for tips - Mimes, jugglers, and musicians have been earning a living this way for years. I thought why not offer the tourists a massage? The first day I brought home 75.00 for 5 hours of work! I made my living that way for the next 2 years. I was completely dependant on what the universe provided for me. I always had enough money to pay me bills. Back then I didn't worry about the future. I just showed up. Eventually I met people who offered me work indoors, providing massage to hotel guests at wine hour. Back then my life consisted of synchronicity. I was intune with my spirit guides, I meditated regularly, and lived my life pretty much fearless. I did it back then and I will do it again. My life felt more in balance.
Hope your living a balanced life today and don't forget to laugh out loud!
xoxo Inge

Jan 30, 2010

I was going to go out job hunting again today... I have been looking for about a week and a half now - everyday. I got sidetracked though... started looking for vlogs from Lilou and then I decided to join the 100 Day Reality Challenge on one of her websites. Her vlog today was interview she did recently about panic attacks and fear... a subject I know to well from past experience. She mentioned that instead of running, running, running to try and make what I want to happen (In my case find a job) that it would be a good idea to spend time in nature and be with my thoughts. Soooo, I applied for membership to her 100 Day Reality Challenge website. I attempted to make my own video blog or vlog and post it on youtube but for some reason the video would not load. This dang technical stuff is hard for us chickies over the age of 50. Well, it is at least for me. I will have to figure that out another day or I might run into a 5 year old today that can upload it for me. HA! HA!

Anyways, here's what I said on my video " This is day 1 of my reality challenge and my intentions are to manifest my perfect job. Since I don't really know exactly what that job is I think I should focus on clarity first. I have a habit of just doing the samething I always do which is look for work to pay the bills and then dream about my dream job. Although my last job sucked so much energy out of me the only thing I did was dream or rather sleep and dream I was working at that job. Not very productive for me. I will write down in my journal 5 things that I am grateful for everyday. I already am in the process of making my vision board (but truth be told there is alot of restaurant pictures on there) some habits will take longer to get rid of. I have already started meditating just to focus on the now. That's what I have so far."

I wonder how I will know when the right opportunities are knocking on my door though. Example: A few days ago I got a call from a woman who said she saw my resume posted on one of the job sites and she was with some financial firm. She gave me her pitch on why she thought I would be a good match for her firm and was I interested in making a good paycheck. Well, of course! But after the phone call I looked up her financial firm and found out it really is a Pyramid Scheme. I had that impression when I talked to her so I was not surprised. But how do I know any job offers I get will be the real deal? I thought my last job was going to be great and look what happened with that.

Back to being grateful though... I have to say that job paid for us to relocate to southern California and got us moved into this comfortable home, so it did serve its purpose,even though it turned out different than I expected. As John likes to remind me " Things happen for a reason".

Hope your weekend is juicy and don't forget to laugh outloud!

xoxo Inge

Jan 29, 2010

I was driving home today about 4:30 pm from job hunting and while I was sitting at a red light I looked up to the sky and saw about a hundred birds way up in the sky flying together heading southwest. They were so high up I couldn't tell what type of birds they were. Then I looked over to the northeast and I saw hundreds more flying the same direction. I was amazed and decided to pull over in a parking lot so I could watch them. Just when I thought I watched the last group fly over there were hundreds more flying about a minute behind. I kept trying to figure out if they were ducks, geese, seagulls? Then I decided who cares? They were birds on their way to somewhere, riding the gulfstream, flapping their wings, on their way to new adventures and possibilities... and probably food. They were leaving the cold weather behind them. I watched them for the next 20 minutes. The sun was going down. Was I the only one who could see this amazing event? I decided to live in the moment and just enjoy this amazing site. Note to self... put my binoculars in the car... they don't do me any good sitting in the closet. Who knows when I can witness an event like this again? I plan to be ready.
The picture above was not taken by me. I thought you could get a better idea what I saw today with a visual aide, but times the amount of birds in the photo by a few thousand. I give credit to Darren Murph, (I found the photo on google) he was apparantly more prepared than me by having his camera ready for the unexpected perfect picture.
xoxo Inge

The First Full Moon for 2010

The full moon is tonight and it looks like it will be FANTASTIC! I enjoy the full moon and celebrate it by giving thanks to the Goddess, Luna. It is also a perfect time to write down my desires on paper and then burn it (outside away from anything flammable) and send it out to the universe. The full moon is a powerful time of the month and I believe anything asked for during this time has a more powerful energy to it.

I found another inspiring website that you might like to check out http://www.spiritedboutique.com/ and here is a youtube video that might just get you out of your seat and dancing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F47AfASOnA8

Hope your day is juicy! And don't forget to laugh out loud!

xoxo Inge

Jan 27, 2010

My meditation for today is synchronicity. I have trouble defining the term in words so I looked it up on Websters online dictionary.
"Synchronicity is a term used by the Swiss psychologist Carl Jung to describe the alignment of universal forces with one's own life experience. Jung believed that some, but not all, coincidences were not mere chance, but instead a literal "co-inciding", or alignment of forces in the universe to create an event or circumstance. The process of becoming intuitively aware and acting in harmony with these forces is what Jung labelled "individuation." Jung said that an individuated person would actually shape events around them through the communication of their consciousness with the collective unconscious."
I am thinking about this today because yesterday I believe I experienced it first hand. I haven't experienced this in a very long time... or I might have but was not paying attention. This time it got my attention. Ok, here is what happened...
About 10 years ago I watched a funny woman speaker on PBS. I liked her so much I bought her book. In a nutshell it is basic stuff we all know... coping with life in a humorous way. I gave the book to someone else who I thought could use some good funny advice. Thinking I would always remember the name of the book and the author's name I didn't write it down. Not a smart move.
Fast forward to 2009, I started thinking about this woman again and I could not remember her name (darned menapause!) I searched the internet, asked people, looked in bookstores - but I turned up nothing. I decided to forget about it and hoped someday I would remember her name.
Last night I was on youtube watching one of Lilou Mace's vlogs and she was talking about "living juicy"... soooo I googled juicy living (I don't know why - I just did) and guess who was one of the sites that came up! Yes! The funny speaker I was looking for last year! Loretta LaRoche. That's synchronicity! I know it's also a song by Sting (someone else I admire).
I was soooo happy to find her! and just when I needed to hear her funny wise words again. Here is the link on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tffN2d_qU-k&NR=1&feature=fvwp.
Hope your day is juicy! And don't forget to laugh out loud!
xoxo Inge

Jan 25, 2010

Still working on my gratitude and affirmations. It's interesting how fear tries to sneak in when I am quiet for a minute. I practise my deep breathing and focus on my gratitude. I even mention that I am grateful to face uncertainty. Don't we all face uncertainty every day? I think looking for work without having a job brings it to the surface. I change my uncertainty into possibilities. Last month I was too exhausted to think about anything let alone possibilities or fear of the unknown.
My ocd likes to whisper anxious thoughts in my ear but I recognise it and will not allow it to take over. Obsessing about things just robs me of the time I need to put a plan together to find work.
Hope your day is good and don't forget to laugh out loud!
xoxo Inge

Jan 24, 2010

I decided to focus my thoughts on what I am grateful for today. I really am a lucky person... I know I could say I am blessed and I might be but saying that does not feel natural to me... sooo I will just say I am fortunate instead.

I have a terrific husband who tells me everyday at least once a day that he loves me - he usually squeezes in a few more throughout the day. I have a terrfic 32 year old son who also tells me he loves me everytime he talks to me and he enjoys hanging out with me. His girlfriend makes me homemade chicken soup when I am sick. And bakes homemade pies when its out birthdays! Yum! I have loving furbabies that are always extremely happy to see me no matter how long I am gone. We live in clean, safe, quiet condo complex. We successfully moved to southern California. We live 30 minutes from the beach!

I am basically a happy person but there are times I can dwell on the negative and worry myself into a funk. I will work on focusing on the positive things in my life and how fortunate I am instead of thinking about the things I do not have. What are you grateful for in your life?

Oh, and I am grateful for the other people I have met in blogland, even though I have not met them I feel a kinship with them and I am grateful for their kind words, funny stories, beautiful photos and for them sharing their lives with me.

Hope your day is filled with laughter and things to be grateful for.

xoxo Inge

Jan 21, 2010

I am feeling sooo much better... healthwise and I am grateful. Remember when I blogged that I was going to be transferred to another restaurant as a server? Well, that fell through...I don't want to go into the drama that I started to allow myself to get sucked into... so I just will say sometimes "shit happens" and I decided to let go of the negative feelings I had about that and focus on the future and the possibilities that I now have. I was surfing youtube for something about attracting the perfect job and I ran across this interesting woman who wrote the book

I Lost My Job and I Liked IT. She has a web tv channel that might interest you

There is something about this time of year that I find myself reading about spirituality, or examining my life, meditating, or creating art. Then the closer it gets to summer I forget about things (although not completely) and I get side tracked in the day to day stuff. I don't know what happens or why because I really do enjoy engaging my right brain.

Maybe that is why this job did not work out... it was too much day to day stuff and did not allow me time to pursue my right brain activities... I barely had time to wash my clothes... so seeing myself as a victim is a waste of time...I wanted this job because of the money. I saw it as a chance to make a nice wage but I soon found out that wage came at a high price (and after adding up all the hours I had to work it really wasn't that great of a wage) I was not following my own advice "work smart not hard".

So it is back to the drawing board or rather as Lilou says vision board...

Hope you are spending time doing something you love and don't forget to laugh out loud!

xoxo Inge

Jan 19, 2010

Big upset in Massachusetts. A Republican wins in a liberal state. Martha Coakley seems to be just another example of how out-of-touch our politicians are. I am an independent. I voted for Obama... I worked for his campaign which meant I had to change parties for the election but as soon as he was elected I changed back. I do not believe in sticking with a party no matter what. But since the fight over the health care bill I find myself angry with all the politicians. They are all the same... they claim to want to change things but think about it nothing changes except the size of their paychecks. Wanting to pass a health care bill, any health care bill in order to claim themselves victorious to the voters... even if the bill is something voters do not want is going to be the beginning of their demise. Today is an example. I know the entertainers at FOX News are excited and cannot wait to gloat... but they better be careful... they could be replaced next. The next few years should be interesting...
Don't forget to laugh out loud! Your gonna need it!
xoxo Inge

Jan 18, 2010

A couple of days ago I got a letter from my bank, Chase. I used to bank with Washington Mutual
before they went belly up last year or was it the year before? (damn menapause) Anyways back to the other day. The letter was sent to inform me that my personal information might have been accidently, sort of looked at by persons not authorized to see such information... translation... someone hacked into their system and compromised the site. Now this did not just happen to me... I'm guessing probably millions are in the same boat as me, well, my husband and me.
There was good news though.... Chase shut down the site and sent me this form that gives us a year free membership to the Chase Identity Program. I am returning this form and enrolling in their program and as soon as the banks reopen tomorrow we are moving our money from their bank and putting it into the local credit union. We aren't millionaires but I figure if there are enough of people like us who are fed up with the big bank institutions and all their games we will send a strong message to them that we are mad as hell and we are not going to take it anymore.
If you feel the same - here is a site that will help you find a solvent local community bank or credit union close to you.
Hope you are well and don't forget to laugh out loud!
xoxo Inge

Jan 16, 2010

I found another fun website http://www.skirt.com/ I have also been able to catch up on my favorite episodes of The Dog Whisperer and Bully Beat Down. Since we share our lives with dogs (and cats) it is interesting watching this man transform a dog's behavior with intuition and understanding. I learn alot from this guy and my new mantra is to stay calm and submissive, well... calm yes, submissive... never. Bully Beat Down is a great show on MTV where bullies fight people who are bigger than them and their victims win money. I know it is violent but I truly believe bullies need a taste of their own medicine... hugs do not work with these people.

xoxo Inge

I finally went to Urgent Care... I just wasn't feeling better. It is really interesting and annoying to always be asked "Do you have insurance?" That is always the very first question. Not "What is your symptoms? How can I help you?" My answer is "No I do not have insurance"... I cannnot afford the $300 a month for insurance and even if I could the premium eats up all my discretionary income so I do not have the money for the co-pays. Anyway when I give my answer I always get the same look... free loader. Then they tell me it will cost me $67 to start... soooo! Just because I don't have insurance does not mean I do not have money put away for emergencies and this is an emergency... at least for me. I'm sick and I am hardly ever sick so for me to go to an western doctor means I really feel bad.
The doc that saw me was or at least seemed like he knew what he was doing... diagnosis... stomach flu.... well, I already knew that...well, sort of my ocd can kick in and run wild with obsessive thoughts if I let it.... but stomach flu - even though it sucks is the best illness... if I have to choose one. He gave me some GI cocktail to calm my stomach so I could drink liquids and eat something so I can gain my strength. He also gave me a prescription, Belladonna with alkaloids.... isn't Belladonna a poison? I think I saw that on the movie Practical Magic (one of my fav flicks).
Anyway, I was told that I could be sick 3 to 7 days with this stuff and I had to be patient and let the virus work its way through. I did not get to start my new food server job but I let the manager know and I do have a doctors note. I hope that will be ok but really I don't have a choice... I don't think customers will appreciate an employee with the stomach flu handling their food. (Although, it happens all the time!)
It is day 5 and I have the strength to blog and clean my kitchen. My tongue no longer has dryer lint growing on it so I am hopeful... Ana made me some delicious looking homemade chicken noodle soup and I will attempt to eat some today.
Hope your weekend is fun and healthy. Don't forget to laugh out loud!
xoxo Inge

Jan 13, 2010

I am sick as hell. Bad timing... but is there really a good time to be sick? I got sick Monday at 4 am... body aches, nausea, headache. I called in sick. 18 hours later I thought my insides were coming apart. Vomiting, diarrea every 2 hours for the next 10 hours. I haven't been this sick in I don't know how long. I called my son, James and he took me too a Minute Clinic at CVS. The nurse could not help me... she suspected stomach flu and dehydration. We called around some clinics but no one was taking new patients. I looked up stomach flu and the symptoms are the same but the prognosis is not hopeful. Some people who wrote about their illness said it lasted up to 2 weeks and even came back. This is day 3 and I did not go to work... my official last day... but there is nothing I can do I am too weak and I look like hell. I am supposed to start my new job Friday and I hope I can make it.
Hope you are well and don't forget to laugh out loud (although right now I don't feel like laughing too much)
xoxo Inge

Jan 8, 2010

I have some more free time now that I have given my notice at work. I leave before my 10 are up. I get paid for the hours I work and if my work is done before the magical 10 hours I go home. The company saves a couple of bucks and I keep my sanity... at least for a little while longer. College football is on television alot this week... championships or something at least that is what John tells me... I really don't know I tend to zone out when he starts talking sports. In fact if I want to a sure fire way to get to sleep... I sit in front of the tele when sports is on and I am out in a minute!

Anyway, I was cruzing the web and I found another funny site you may enjoy

http://www.askejean.com/ It really is a hoot (at least I think so)

Jan 5, 2010

I came across an interesting article that I thought I would pass on. If you find yourself in a bad work situation this may help you until you can find a new one
There's also a website called http://www.snagajob.com/ that I signed up for... they email me daily with different jobs that I might be interested in... the jobs are located all over the country so you can type in your zipcode or city and that will narrow the search. One of the jobs that came in today is 2010 census taker... I don't know if I am willing to myself through that application process again though. If you are a military vet and/or bilingual you will have a better chance of getting hired.
There is another site called http://www.ebosswatch.com/ where you can rate your boss good or bad and it is anonymous... it is meant to help jobseekers find out what type of environment they are about to get into. This site would have been helpful to me many times. It also has information about current laws concerning worker rights and stories about people fighting back.
Hope your work environment is good and don't forget to laugh out loud!
xoxo Inge

Jan 4, 2010

Watching birds in the back yard... how nice is that... to be content just enjoying the moment. I want to practise more of that instead of always thinking and planning about the future or living in the past. A New Years resolution? Maybe.
Hope your new year is starting out wonderful! And practise enjoying the moment.
Don't forget to laugh out loud!
xoxo Inge

Jan 3, 2010

I had the day off today and It sure was nice... I get two more days in a row! The last time I got 3 days off in a row I drove to Chico to pick up the family. It was exciting but not restful. The weather has been in the 70s which is sooo nice... at least for me. The weather was one of the reasons we moved to Southern California. John had the day off too so we went to the dog park. We enjoy watching the pooches play with each other and I find it relaxing.

Tomorrow I have to do a few errands but I want to focus on brainstorming about what I want to do with the rest of my life... professionally that is. The problem is I have too many interests and I need to narrow it down and just go for it. I have worked for myself as a massage therapist, owned a booth inside an antique mall, and sold things on eBay and Etsy. The only lucrative business was the massage but my fingers aren't really up to it anymore. I want to find something John and I can do together... probably involving animals... at least to some degree.

Any suggestions are welcome!

p.s. I got 2 server shifts starting the day after I leave my current position. Things are looking up already!

Hope your week is fun and don't forget to laugh out loud!

xoxo Inge

Jan 1, 2010

Happy New Year

To celebrate the New Years Eve blue moon I gave my 2 weeks notice at work. I decided I had to take the plunge and just trust that everything will work out. In reality I could not look for a new job and stay at the one that was sucking the life out of me.

I hope your new year is fun, happy and filled with laughter!
xoxo Inge