Jan 31, 2010

It's day 2 of my 100 Day Reality Challenge. I got the ok to join the site... I can understand how they probably have to approve each member because it is an interractive site that could be controversial by some groups of people and if someone who had less than noble intentions made their way onto the site... well, I think you get my drift. So anyway, I am official, which means I am privy to all the tools I need to achieve my goals and dreams.
I was given some questions to think about which I wrote the answers to in a journal book. I won't go into what they were but I did decide to be open about the name of the place I worked because I think... no, I know the reason I did not mention the name before was because I was driven by fear... the fear that if someone from the company found out I was blogging about them I would lose my job.... So I decided to stop living in fear and the first step to walk the talk is to tell you where I worked. Marie Callender's Restaurant. There I said it. The experience I was sold on was definitely not the experience I... well, experienced. But I will not be angry about it but instead be grateful for the experience. I learned a great lesson even though the paycheck was bigger than I ever got, I did not like the environment. I found myself, especially in the last few weeks saying to myself how much I hated that job. I dreaded going there and felt trapped. This job in retrospect help me realize what I did not want as far as employment. I was stubborn though and continued to show up at a place that did nothing but aggravate me for 11 hours. I did not pay attention to my feelings and focused on the paycheck. It was my physical strength or rather lack of that caught up with me. My constant negative feelings helped to lower my immune system and my body finally crashed the last week I was supposed to work.
I am grateful to all the situations and people who I was angry with because if all this would not have happened I would still be there collecting a paycheck and not living my dream. I still do not have a clear idea what that looks like but at least I have the tools to figure that out. I want to practise trusting the universe to provide the guidance I need and know that I will be taken care of. It has happened in the past... I just forgot.

Back in 1999 I decided to check out a massage therapy class located a couple of blocks from my house. I had been interested in learning massage therapy and saw it as a career possibility. I went to a free class and within minutes, I knew it was for me. Nine months later I graduated but I didn't know where I wanted to work. I lived 10 minutes from Fisherman's Wharf so I decided to take the massage chair I had recently purchased down there to see if I could make some money offerering free 10 minute massages - working basically for tips. In San Francisco it is alright to perform in certain areas in the city for tips - Mimes, jugglers, and musicians have been earning a living this way for years. I thought why not offer the tourists a massage? The first day I brought home 75.00 for 5 hours of work! I made my living that way for the next 2 years. I was completely dependant on what the universe provided for me. I always had enough money to pay me bills. Back then I didn't worry about the future. I just showed up. Eventually I met people who offered me work indoors, providing massage to hotel guests at wine hour. Back then my life consisted of synchronicity. I was intune with my spirit guides, I meditated regularly, and lived my life pretty much fearless. I did it back then and I will do it again. My life felt more in balance.
Hope your living a balanced life today and don't forget to laugh out loud!
xoxo Inge

1 comment:

Lilou said...

I am honored to be part of your Gurus' but remember you are the guru!!! you are the one!!!!

i send you much love and i will see you on CCOR website!!!