The Vigil Turnout

was only me and John. I am disappointed but not surprised. As I mentioned before Chico is not the hot bed for political thought! If I had organized a rally for gun support it would have been packed! There is alot of complaining around here but it is ususally about the cost of a cup of coffee or "those gays are ruining our society" "I can't believe Obama got elected" "We pay too much in taxes" "We are becoming a socialist society and it means the end of the world" "Gas prices are too high" well you get the picture...

I will just continue to do what I can behind the scenes and of course type! Ha! There is a class on how to operate a fork lift in Yuba City next week but it starts at 7am! That is a 45 minute drive from here... I will think about it though because you never know when you will be asked to drive a fork lift! It beats typing... I think
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkcZoo1l2k
xoxo Inge

I typed 35 wpm and have a certificate to prove it! Only 5 words to go. Meanwhile...back at the protest... I found another site twittertalk. http://www.livestream.com/twittertalk
Unfortunately, alot of the live talk is still talking about Michael Jackson... now don't get me wrong I think its too bad he died, but enough already!!!!!! There are more imporant things going on.. Iran is important because if their fight fails, Iran goes back to business as usual and we have to deal with a nuclear Iran...
Gotta go and get ready to go to my day job.... tonight is the vigil...I will show pictures tomorrow.
xoxo Inge

This is my avatar on twitter. I added the green ribbon to show solidarity with Iran, if you would also like to show your support for them I suggest wearing a green ribbon to keep the awareness going... also this is my url on twitter . http://twitter.com/ingebirds

Here I sit again typing, typing, typing.... I still am not getting any better. Maybe this office stuff is not for me. To be perfectly honest I have always done better doing guy stuff... I mean I delivered auto parts in the 80s... working in the office did not interest me and I made lots more money and was a member of the Teamsters. Maybe I should be looking at warehouse work. I just need to find temp work so I can have the freedom to go down south to look for housing and permanent work.

I do take time out to visit twitter.com in between practise lessons. I want to check in and find out what is happening in Iran... the posts and tweets are not as frequent but the ones getting out are calling for our help... one of the requests are to forward to as many people as possible to get the word out. Even though the government does not care what we oursiders think, I believe they are fearful otherwise they would not try so hard to silence the protesters. I suggest you visit the site... as well as youtube and type in Iran 2009 and forward to others.

Their struggle is really our struggle... we are all human beings and really want the same things... to live a peaceful life. It is just some people in power around the world have a sick idea that they have the right either God given or otherwise to control others and enslave them... look at N. Korea, or any of the middle eastern countries and yes even Israel. I know I might create some anger but there are people in Israel that think it is ok to treat the Palestinian people like trash... I would think that the Israelie people would be the most sensitive about treating people badly because of their own painful history but it appears that "the oppressed have become the oppressors".

Ok, enough lecturing for now, but what I am saying is feel free to forward any of the links or pictures to anyone you might think might be interested in the Iran plight.
xoxo, Inge
Don't forget to laugh outloud!

I think Michael Jackson was a complex person, and I think he at times carried the weight of the worlds troubles on his shoulders which after awhile will make anyone reach for meds to quiet the demons. It has been my observation of individuals that are thoughtful and talented and truly give a damn about his fellow man have turned to alcohol or drugs to keep from going completely mad. How many people on a daily basis come home to a few cocktails - just to take the edge off? How many people have a medicine cabinet full of pills to altar their minds... go ask Alice I think she'll know. With so much shit bombarding us daily I thought about drinking but frankly I'm too cheap. I can't spend that kind of money on booze or drugs. Instead when I've had enough I write letters to our leaders or go into the streets and join a protest or two... but in Chico the only ones protesting sit at table 5 (where I work ) and complain about the cost of coffee. jeez! guys get a life already!

I remember when Obama was commenting about Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayo and how she had empathy (the ability to put oneself in another's shoes) and he thought that was a good quallity to have... of course the one's who hate anything he does and says, see empathy as weakness... but really don't we all want someone to have that quality who makes important decisions that could affect everyones lives? I mean if we don't have empathy we have Dick Cheney and look where that got us!

Its too bad that Michael Jackson had to use prescription drugs just to make it through the day... he understood the meaning of empathy. I will miss his music, his eccentric behavior, and his thoughtful lyrics. I found this on youtube today and I think it is still relevant today, especially in Iran and other dictatorship countries.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvWMLAWrEjU
xoxo Inge

Just got word...

http://chico-peace.org/

I contacted the Chico Peace and Justice Center about having a vigil for the Iranian people and they put it together... Since my attempt on Craigslist bombed. I guess its who ya know! Yay!

A sobering article from the Tehran Bureau

http://tehranbureau.com/frontline/

I believe we must be in the midst of a health crisis!

At least that is what I think after watching the endless commercials talking about erectile dysfunction. I swear every 3rd commercial shows couples dancing, sitting in bath tubs, or men singing praises about their long lasting dicks. How about that disclaimer that states if a man has an erection for more than 4 hours go see a doctor... I think that is more of an incentive for men to buy this stuff. I heard that viagra is covered on insurance but not birth control. What the hell???Do you know they charge $15.00 a pill? That is crazy!! Do you know that amount of stuff I can buy at a yard sale or flea market for that amount of money? I am amazed at the garbage that our society is talked into buying.

And while I'm at it I want to know what the fascination is with all these reality shows... Jon & Kate Plus 8, Dancing with the Stars, American Idol...I could go on and on. I just don't see the entertainment value for any of these shows. Personally I see it as part of the dumbing down of our society - what I call the Walmart mentality...meaning people will eat garbage, watch garbage, and wear garbage... I mean poor quality goods. I think we are losing our taste for quality and will trade it to save a few bucks, but the price of goods (I think) is not cheap...only cheaply made. Remember when you could buy a pair of shoes that would last for years and only required either new heels or soles that would be put on by your neighborhood shoe repair guy?
I tried to have new heels put on a pair of boots that I paid over $100.00 for only to find out that the whole bottom of the boot is made of hard plastic and cannot be fixed. My boots will become throw away boots and I thought I was buying quality.

Since I am on a roll... I am feeling a little discouraged today, can you tell?...I went to 2 different temp agencies today and filled out their paperwork. I thought I would have to take tests but that was never brought up..it was basically "don't call us we'll call you". I was sitting in one temp agency waiting room and watched other people arrive looking for work but dressing like they were either cleaning out their garage (these were the men) or like they were hookers (the women) What ever happened to "Dress for Success". Doesn't anyone look at those books anymore? What I wonder is... are these people getting jobs and I'm passed over? Maybe I should just start showing up in my underwear.

I do want to take a time out and express that I am sorry Farrah Fawcett died today... 62 years old... I enjoyed watching Charlies Angels back in the day... now that show was fun mindless trash. My brother had her famous poster in his bedroom. The last time I saw her she was on David Letterman acting pretty loopy... now looking back on it she might have been on meds... who knows. At least she is no longer suffering, although it hardest on those she leaves behind.

The phone guy is coming to install my land line... soon I hope, I get antsy waiting for repair people to show up. They say between 1 and 5 so they probably will show 4:45. I already got a confirmation call from their headquarters saying they are coming, but I think they were making sure I would be home... I wouldn't be surprised how many people make appointments and then are not home and do not call to cancel. I better go watch some funny comedy to get me out of this grumpy mood.
xoxo, Inge

Found some...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b7BGBa6MTI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzta9XU-CEA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2XKHHw1e5s

I have been so involved by the nastiness over in

Iran, I lost my sense of humor for awhile. Found something on youtube to share that gave me a chuckle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nphl5SL1Mjg

xoxo Inge
and inspite of all the crap we hear on the news don't forget to laugh outloud its better than running in the streets with our hair on fire!

Iran Update

I have been following CNN most of the day. It is the background noise for my typing which I am sorry to say is not as good as I hoped by now. All I can do is the best I can. I am afraid the years of working with my hands doing massage and serving food has slowed my fingers down. I am stubborn though and Ihave incentive because I really cannot stand going to work anymore. It's funny that I get so worked up at work over things I really cannot control... I remember feeling the same annoyance when I knew the man I was married to at the time (I have been married 3 times) needed to go away. Only this time it is my job. I am grateful though because I do not spend much time with the owner because usually after five minutes of working with him I fantasize hitting him in the head with a frozen chicken. He is a control freak... besides being passive aggressive and I truly believe he enjoys creatig havoc with his employees and customers. How many of you work in jobs where you are stopped on the street by ex-customers who tell you the place you work is a dump? It is happening to me more often. But if I keep things in perspective my work situation is a picnic compared to what the women in Iran must face on a daily basis.

News coming out of Iran is slowing down. The report I watched this evening showed protesters still out but being beaten more savagely...unconfirmed reports are of people getting hacked with axes. That news infuriates me. How dare a government being run by fanatics decide is alright to treat its people this way! I do not like guns but watching this makes me a 100% gun advocate! I think of m self as a thoughtful person and definitely non violent except when I see injustice. I would have no trouble of taking up arms against these militia and sending them home to their God. There is hope though... thanks to the geeks around the world who can hack into their government data basis and erase names of people to be arrested.... there is also a new cell phone number that is somehow available world wide that helps the Iran people get information to us. I don't understand how it all works... I barely could get with the twitter crowd! Oh and I found out disturbing news about Nokia and the Iran government...word has it they supplied the technology to them so they could spy on their people http://gizmodo.com/5299826/nokia-siemens-helped-iran-rig-networks-for-government-control http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2009/06/nokia-siemens-boycott/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKUZuv6_bus&feature=player_embedded

I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life.
Mahatma Gandhi

It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
Emiliano ZapataMexican reformer & revolutionary (1877 - 1919

More from Iran

The above photos and more can be seen on the blog femmessay.wordpress.com/tag/iran/

I think you will enjoy her blog so check her out.

When I was in highschool I was interested in becoming a journalist. I think freedom of the press is one of the most important freedoms we have as a democracy, that is why the Iran government is working soooo hard to silence its protestors and stop information, especially pictures from leaving Iran. Maybe this is my chance in aa small way to report what I can that is happening over there and forwarding pictures and information that I receive. Feel free to use any pics I post and forward to as many people as you can. It is surprising that there are still many people who do not know about twitter and facebook, so maybe (hopefully) I can help the people in Iran get the word out via my blog. Here are some links that have information how you can help, including companies that do business with Iran, so you can email them to voice your concern. They are also looking for tech savy helpers. Please read their instructions first on how to communicate with them. Remember they are taking great risk reaching out to us and could be killed for it. If you find more you can email me.
http://iran.sharearchy.com/

http://twitpic.com/7y2ym
xoxo Inge

More news from Iran

The following is a link to the newest information coming from Iran http://tehranbureau.com/list-imprisoned-iranian-journalists-politicians/
I know I already mentioned this but I want to repeat that the information I am receiving is being sent by people who are taking a great risk by sending it out to the world, even putting their lives on the line. I know that sounds crazy by American standards because we sa pretty much anything we want. If you want to get information from twitter, you will have to sign up for it, so when you set up your account type in that your home is Tehran even if its not because somehow it confuses the people monitoring the accounts and they cannot find out you are from someplace else. www.twitter.com/
Like John Lennon said, "Power to the People!!!!!!"
xoxo Inge

I found another excellent link for the Iranian cause, you can send them emails and pictures for moral support as well.
http://greenwave-info.org/

Another good story about the young woman, Neda, who is the brave young woman who lost her life for peacefully protesting with her father
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/meast/06/21/iran.woman.twitter/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Well, the turnout was not as good as I hoped... ok... Iwas the only one standing at the intersection... again. I did still got some supportive "honks" from people driving by. I even saw some of my customers... I can imagine what they were thinking when they looked at me..."Is that my waitress from Jacks? Is business really that bad forcing her to beg for money at the corner?" Can't wait to get back to work tomorrow. Ha!

Well, I do feel a bit better for making my voice heard, even if it was only to a few hundred people. Now I must get back to my reality and follow CNN in the background. Back to typing... I bought a keyboard that plugs into my laptop. It is more like the keyboards that I will be using and testing on when I look for office work. I plan to stop by the temp agency I would like to work for because they have an office in Oxnard, which is next door to Ventura and my hope now is to work a couple of months here and then transfer down south.
I do find myself getting impatient though. It takes me awhile to make my mind up about major things but when I know what I want I tend to want it now. There are always things... mainly just life that happens and my timeline has to change.

In memory of Neda

She is the young woman who was killed yesterday by the basij militia who do the dirty work for the Iranian government. It was the video of her death that did it for me. I can no longer be a passive observer. I have to do somethig. I know I am in the US and I cannot go over there to help the people, but I can show my support for them in my city of Chico.
I stood on one of the busier intersections for two hours yesterday holding my sign of support. I did get alot of good response from the people driving by and someone was thoughtful enough to stop go into a store and bought me something to drink. Another man on a bicycle offered to buy me dinner... although I think he did not really read my sign and just thought I was maybe homeless? and asking for money?? either way he too was kind enough to ask if I wanted help. There was another woman who did not know what was going on in Iran and did not even know there was a country called Iran! I think the California school system needs some looking into!

I am returning to that same intersection today and I placed a post on the local Craigslist hoping to recruit more supporters. Either way, I will go.
http://www.albawaba.com/en/news/248538

Support the People of Iran

I havebeen watching CNN and I follow twitter...who knew this crazy new technology would become paramount to a freedom movement! Anyways I must show you newest video from youtube...WARNING!!!!! This is a disturbing video! But I feel I must spread the word to help any way I can. Also, if you can wear a green armband to show your support for the Iranian people.
xoxo Inge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGvow-chn28

Feel free to pass on this video and there are others on youtube you can use to pass on as much info as we can to help them.

It has been 2 weeks since I said "good bye"

to my beautiful kitty, Austin. I swear there were 2 times I thought I heard him howl. For now I will believe it was another one of my kittes imitating Austin... but if I hear the howl again it may very well be him... as I mentioned before I have had paranormal experiences in the past and why not have one with my cat. In life we had a strong bond...why should that change now that he has crossed over. If you are not an animal lover, you cannot understand how painful it is to lose one, even if they are senior citizens... I think all that fur hides their true age. To me Austin still looked like the young kitty I adopted 16 years ago... well, maybe his fur was a bit rougher looking. I had him cremated and he sits on a book shelf in my livingroom along with his two kitty friends who died 5 years ago. My vet sent me flowers! I was so surprised! In the past the vet I had at the time sent a condolence card... but flowers! Wow! It meant so much to me. I am so lucky to have found him. Thank you Dr. Callen!

Needless to say I have not gone down to socal lately to look for work. It took all I had to just get up and go to work, come home and spend time with my other furbabies. Work was really a challenge... I just did not feel like being my cheerful self and I know we should not bring our "baggage" to work but this time I did not fake happy, joy,joy! My thoughts about that are... I was grieving and that was that. I always crack jokes even when I am pissed off... my humor just becomes more sarcastic, but this time I just allowed myself to be me... goddess knows I have to put up with a variety of whiney and pouty customers and staff at times and now it was my turn. I also could not take the time off work because losing a pet is not considered the same as losing a human family member.

John and I have been taking the dogs to the dog park lately. They absolutely love it and have a chance to mingle and play with other dogs they do not normally see. I don't know if it has to do with losing Austin or what but I find myself getting annoyed with the usual questions I get when it comes to my Chihuahuas... "how old are they? how long will they live? what happened to his eye?" I have had to answer these questions almost everytime we meet someone new, and now I just get annoyed. My answers now are..." I don't know. They don't have an expiration date stamped on their butts. He got in a bar fight." You should see the strange looks I get. I mean really, I have met some unusual looking pets and people for that matter but I never asked someone these type of questions especially asking how long their pet will live. I just don't want to dwell on that or discuss it with a stranger, thank you very much.

I am back to practise typing. I took the speed test on Monday at the employment office and failed. I need to type 40 wpm no mistakes. I did it at home several times so I thought I was ready but I have come to the conclusion that the different keyboards do make a difference. My laptop keyes are smoother and the employment office keyboards is raised and hair trigger... keeping my finger too long on a key can turn an a into an aaaaaa. I type at the employment office daily for 2 hours.

I have to mention what is going on in Iran. I watch the news, youtube, flickr and twitter as much as I can to keep up with what is going on. I think we are witnessing a revolution (I hope) to bring about freedom, real democratic freedom to that country. The so called democratic government they had before is really a joke, when the one who really make the rules calls himself "Supreme Leader" and just pretends to offer democratic ideals. I could not live in such an oppressed society and I probably would have trouble participating in a peaceful protest...especially when I watched bullies on motorcycles clubbing unarmed people in the street. I feel my anger rising when I watch that abuse on youtube. I hope the people of Iran get the democratic government they want. I think the old guard is finally getting replaced by the younger generations all around the world... they will not stand for the bigotry, hate and discrimination that still seem to rear its ugly head even in the 21st century. I particpated in the protests during Iraq wars I and II but never experienced anything like this. I don't think we can appreciate the risk these people are taking for sharing these photos and videos with the rest of the world... maybe technology will make it possible to free people from oppressive governments. I hope so... life is too short to be forced to live life according to someones warped religious views and beliefs... now don't get me wrong I am for religious freedom but when someone's religious freedom dicates my personal freedom we have a problem.
xoxo Inge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI3bwkw2DBU

I knew it was coming

but I wanted another day, another hour...it is never enough. 17 years go by so fast, it's really a blink of an eye. John said he noticed changes a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I chose not to see or because I was so close to him I could not see. We took Austin to the vet this morning. He could barely walk...really only two wobbly steps then he laid down on the linoleum. We had quiet time last night, he seemed so peaceful...I had hoped he would crossover in his sleep. Don't we all want that for ourselves and our loved ones? Doc said he was ready to go...I had asked if we could do anything to help him survive longer, I still was not wanting to hear the truth. He went quick and pain free with John and I at his side. I wanted to be there with him and would have felt guilty if he had gone while I was at work. At least we were all together. When we returned home, John reminded me of the sticker I have on the fridge and said Austin got to live that slogan:

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting '...holy shit...' what a ride!"

Austin, my dear friend and baby boy you and I had quite a ride in deed!

I got out of the house for a bit today

and went to the library to find some more books on Buddhism and Ram Dass... the Ram Dass books were checked out but there were lots of books on Buddhism. I found one good one,"Buddhism for Beginners", by Thubten Chodron...it is perfect because I am a beginner or at least interested in looking it over. I have read about 25 pages so far and if you are wondering what Buddhism is about this book tells you in plain English... no esoteric woo woo stuff in there. It straightened me out on this whole attachment and suffering thing. I am starting to get it.

Another book I want to recommend is "The Fall of Freddie the Leaf", by Leo Buscaglia. It deals with death and is appropriate for kids, I bought it back when James was small and it helped me explain the loss of his grandpa. I think it is a good book for any age actually.

Austin is weak again and I am making him comfortable. We created a kitty hospice for him...since he did not come with an expiration date I don't know how much time we have left together so I will stay in the present moment with him...we have also reminisced about some of the funnier moments we spent together.

I have been doing alot of thinking about things

again. I seem to be going through my introspective period. As you know I am meditating again and thinking about things...other points of view, like Buddhism and I have to say I do not agree with their belief about attachment and its connection to suffering. Have you heard the saying "It is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all"? Well, that is where I am at. I get it that it is not so good to be overly attached to someone or something... to be needy. Ok ,maybe I am not getting it. Attachment means suffering. hmmmm. If we do not "attache" ourselves to someone or something, for me life has no meaning. I am pretty much a loner, meaning I do not hang out with lots of people...ok women, because it has been my experience that the women I end up friends with turn out to be needy, or victims, or they complain about their men or that they don't have a man, etc. I really hate that. I get frustrated with those type of women but at the same time I seem to attract those types. So, I spend my time alone, with the family or I relate better with men. They seem to be less serious about things. Well, I take that back I do know alot of whiney men too, but they usually complain about things like the cost of everything. Oops, there I go again... rambling.

**** Subject change. Acupuncture. It literally saved my life. I mention this because I was listening to Dr. Dean Adel (I usually don't because I think he is a paid cheerleader for all things western medicine and pharmaceuticals) yesterday and he said the medical journal yadayadayada claims that acupuncture does not work... no science to back it up. I beg to differ...
When I turned 41 my periods went crazy! I had one every two weeks and I my periods were so heavy I could not leave the bathroom let alone go anywhere like work. After a year of seeing three different doctors and a few thousand dollars all I got was the same diagnosis... no I am not in perimenapause, take these iron pills, use bigger pads... All western medicine did for me was take my money and frustrate me...then I met a woman who told me about how acupuncture helped her with her periods. She gave me the number to the acupuncture school in Berkeley... my periods were under control by the third visit...they listened to me and agreed with my belief -just by listening to me and looking at my tongue! - that yes, I was in perimenapause and I could be helped. My period finally ended eight years later and I did need maintenance for that period (no pun intended) but I really believe if I had not discovered acupuncture I would have gotten seriously ill.
Austin seems to be feeling better than he did a few days ago even though he is weak and I still have to force feed him, but he is using the litter box and drinking water on his own. I looked up the human to cat years thingy and he is 85 years old, Saturday he has a birthday, I think we shall throw him a party.
xoxo Inge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JynBEX_kg8

Dead Zones

I live in one... I cannot get cell phone reception in my house, outside my house,or on the driveway, but I can get reception a block away if the wind blows just right. I do not have a land line so I depend on my cell phone, so if I want to call someone or receive a call I have to stand around the corner. What a pain. It reminds me of Green Acres (remember that show in the 60s?) when Lisa and Oliver had to climb the telephone pole to make a call. I really do I like my home though, it is quiet, nice yard, fenced, roomy enough for all of us...I guess there ups and downs of everyhome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEOxYV25lbg

I took the day off from work today

I am spending time with Austin. He is doing better today. I am feeding him with the syringe and I added cream to the food to add some fat to his diet. Yesterday I could not concentrate at work and got alot of orders wrong so I decided it was better to stay at home since my mind was there anyway. I rarely miss work...I think the last time was sometime last year. I am usually cheerful and a smart ass at work so when I was walking around visibly sad people were concerned. It is no secret that my critters are my family...I think any animal lover knows what I mean.
So today I will spend time with my critters and help Austin through this...and of course practise typing. ughh...
xoxo Inge

One of the teachings of Buddhism

is the lesson of impermanence and that suffering comes from attachment to...anything. Nothing lasts forever and all things have a beginning and an end. I think about this now because I have realized that Austin is nearing his life journey. Even though he got a clean bill of health from the doc last Thursday he decided to stop eating on Saturday. I first thought he did not like the powder I added to his wet food so I gave him food without it. He is drinking water but he only eats when I force feed him with a syringe. He turns up his nose for corn chips... one of his favorite treats. I also see he is laying around alot and having trouble jumping on things and when our 3 year old cat Scout pounces on him, Austin keeps walking like he is not there... before Austin would hiss and smack him around.
I am spending as much time as I can with him today...I have to work at 2 pm but I will check on Austin on my break... one of the only good things about my job is that I am 10 minutes away by car. I hope when he does enter the spirit world he will go peacefully in his sleep, I cannot bear taking him to the vet to help him crossover.