I drove myself to the hospital to get my port flushed today. For those of you who don't know what a port is...it's bump thing that was surgically implanted under my skin just above my left breast. Any type of blood work, chemo, injections can be accessed through this port instead of poking me with needles on my arms. I don't need chemo anymore....because I am cancer free!...but when I did the nurse gave it to me through my port. Chemo is very hard on veins and most of the time the veins collapse after a few days...so having a port is great. I have to keep it in for 5 years.
Anyways it is a big deal for me to take myself to my port flushed because a couple of months ago I had panic attacks when I sat in the Infusion Centers waiting room. The Infusion Center is where people get their chemo treatment in house. I never had to go there for that. The first time I got it was when I was in the hospital and then at home with a portable canister.
In the afternoon John took me to another doctor appointment to get a pap smear. Yuck. I don't care for that much. Dr. Bui had an intern work with her today so I had 2 people poking around my down under. I am grateful I did not have a bathroom attack at that moment! Doc said I sure looked better than when she saw me 5 months ago. I really don't remember much about that visit. Morphine is one powerful drug! She said I looked very sick back then. It's funny to hear that from people. Sometimes I feel I have been out of the loop for years instead of 8 months. I really am doing great...5 months ago I couldn't stand up to take my weight and today I can drive myself around.
I found out that Jeremy was trying to collect disability while he was in the hospital but when the person from the disability office called him he couldn't understand Jeremy because he whispered. So instead of this person coming to see him or getting him a social worker, he stopped calling. Jeremy was too sick to advocate for himself and he did not have the family support that I did. If you ask me I think he fell through the cracks. I am fortunate that my son wouldn't take "no" for answer. The squeaky wheel does get things done.
Jeremy's memorial service is this Friday. I don't know if I will go yet, but I would like to buy a gift for his baby daughter.
Eat your fruit and veggies! xo Inge