There are days I feel like I am in the movie "Ground Hog Day". I miss going out and doing something everyday. I have never had this amount of time off in, well never. I was either working or looking for work. I have worked full time since I was 18 years old. I am bored. I am working on some art projects, meditating, writing, doing some lite house chores and going to the store, but I need mental stimulation. I know my main job is to get well, but my mind sometimes wants to mess with me. Why is it soooo easy to think negative thoughts and harder to think positive ones? The negative ones just pop in my head and since I have OCD these same thoughts come in over and over. I have to fight to kick them out and the next day I get to start all over.
I do have alot of alone time because John has to work. What I think I need is something outside the house, but then I have the bathroom issue. I just never can be sure when I have to go. I laugh about it when I have an accident but it really is annoying. If I am at a store I can leave but if I am somewhere else, lets say doing some volunteer work, I would hate to tell the person in charge "sorry I gotta go. I pooped myself".
Then there is the issue of my weight. I still weigh 129. I really want to gain 10 lbs before October when I see my surgeon. I am eating like crazy, but healthy stuff...I want to keep my body alkaline and eat a ratio of at least 70% veg/fruit and 30% protein. I am drinking green smoothies and lots of high calorie stuff. I think my problem is that I cannot keep the food in my digestive track like before. I poop all day long and I don't know how to fix that. Hopefully, my "bag" will fix that, however I still want to gain weight before the surgery. I know I will lose more when I have to go back in the hospital.
I also stopped juicing because I am waiting for apple season. Right now organic and regular apples are 1.99 a pound. That comes out to almost 2.00 for each apple! I am picky when it comes to juicing. I like some sweetness. Drinking only juiced veggies makes me gag and the sweetener I like is apple. I may have to break down and juice every other day until apple season is here.
Right now I am cooking a red pepper and onion stir fry with jasmine rice. I added one of my favorite seasonings that I made (I actually got the recipe from Dr. Oz); equal parts turmeric, black pepper and garlic powder. Dr. Oz says it is a powerful antioxidant. I keep my mixture in a shaker and sprinkle it on just about anything. Well, I better go eat...
Eat your fruit & veggies! xo Inge