I am reading my book, "Getting Well" and just came across an eye opening paragraph. I mentioned in an earlier post that I understand I participated in my illness because of how I handled the stresses in my life. The author writes that most c-words develop because of a rundown immune system and most patients experienced stressful events up to 18 months before their diagnosis. I'm not talking about everyday, pick up the kids from school, what to cook for dinner, not enough time in the day to get the chores done... I mean loss of a job, loss of a loved one, divorce, etc. After thinking about it awhile I had been dealing with major stress for the past 6 years. I know we cannot get away from stress but there are people who handle it better and then there are those who self medicate with drugs and alcohol. I did none of those but instead always put on a happy face while inside I was a mess.
Now back to that paragraph....here is the quote, " It is a particularly sad course of events, that many times those people who most steadfastly and responsibly attempt to live up to cultural rules develop the most serious illnesses. The literature describing the emotional aspects of cancer is replete with examples characterizing cancer patients in general as ' to good to be true' - people who are kind, considerate, unselfish, and pleasant in the face of all adversity. "
The cultural norm the author is talking about is the tacit agreement to not "rock the boat" and keep our true feelings to ourselves. I am definitely guilty as charged ... I'm not saying I am a saint by any means but I have a habit of keeping my true feeling to myself for fear of rejection. Remember the words " Don't say anything unless you have something nice to say "? That was my mantra for years and look where that got me... 10 % of my liver chopped off and the real possibility of wearing a colostomy bag for life.
The author went on to write... and I'm paraphrasing here... " Those willing to accept responsibility for influencing their health through self examination, will also find the courage to stand up to the cultural rules and reject those not conducive to health."
From now on... no more Miss Goodie Two Shoes!